Talk is the reason having a sister makes you happier

7 11 2010

Via NY Times: Why Sisterly Chats Make People Happier

So maybe it’s true that talk is the reason having a sister makes you happier, but it needn’t be talk about emotions. When women told me they talk to their sisters more often, at greater length and about more personal topics, I suspect it’s that first element — more often — that is crucial rather than the last.

This makes sense to me as a linguist who truly believes that women’s ways of talking are not inherently better than men’s. It also feels right to me as a woman with two sisters — one who likes to have long conversations about feelings and one who doesn’t, but who both make me happier.

It is funny the article raises the difference between men and women talking.  I feel hopeless in understanding guys, but reflecting of my past months, I think I’m certainly learning more about communication and talking.  I am starting to see so clearly and understand where my assumptions, expectations and frustrations had lead me astray.   It seems stupidly obvious now, in hindsight, but I often had found myself confused in understanding the communication/talking, lack of talking, me not talking enough, me talking too much, and now we are just not talking.  Talking to my sisters, and other friends has been helpful in some of this process.

In my own life I can now see how the article is right, in how people talk and express care quite differently.   I forget this at times – unfairly on to others.

It describes that happiness/ helpfulness/connection comes more from the act or length of talking.  That is most important – not the topic.

Similarly as in this project, the idea is not what people actually talk about (eg could be as shallow as the weather)  – it is more the simple act of talking and being there for another person.



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