In some instances I feel like I can talk and talk, even with the best intentions and not be heard. At which point I might yell, or just give up or change my communication where I can be more effective, even that at times doesn’t work. Talking too much is a good way to lose attention too.
I’m learning the effectiveness in communication is equally or more so is in the listening of the other. Our ‘listening’, view or openness to that person is what makes us have walls or not. It is a 2 way street – talking and listening.
In a conversation to someone about parents and building their trust through talking, I reflect on my own friendships where I have lost trust, relationships that I would like to be different and recognising how my behaviours, especially emotional ones, were not building very good ‘listening”. Gaining someone’s ‘listening” takes building trust and respect, enough for them to value and be open to what you are saying. In my work, trying to change corporate “listening” to urban design value, I see many similar parallels. In this and in some relationships, I’m learning that “listening” is critical – if someone doesn’t want to hear something, they won’t. I’m left with the proposition in theses spaces of a) “you can’t win them all” or b) it takes time, dedication and consistent conversations. That is a tough line to walk at times.